A Scintillating Sense of Spice

You learn a lot about communicating over four years in a challenging environment, make a lot of friends in the process and understand well what you don't understand about communicating...

Suddenly is Just a Perception

A city building seems to appear overnight! Despite the daily disruptions to traffic and pedestrians, the noise and the occasional waft of dust, most of the toil is hidden. Barricades appear early, supporting health and safety and containing the collating of the nuts, bolts and concrete of construction.

The barricades mask the goings on with visual trickery. Appealing mural images appear that mimic nature, perhaps an ocean theme, rain forest or open desert plains.

We know intellectually that meticulous work goes on, but we have no real sense of it.

Long before the site is prepared, ideas spark and money lights the flame, lest there is no manifesting the idea. Land is cleared, and the creative work begins. Plans are drawn and submitted, approvals sort and checked.

Back at the site... over time the foundations are laid, tiers are constructed, utilities are connected, the face begins to take shape while the fixtures and fittings add polish and pizzaz.

We know construction is taking place and we participate as onlookers, at a distance, no hands in the dirt for us. Still it seems one day, almost overnight, this building appears as the barricades come down and the spectacle reveals itself!

Suddenly! to the eye it appears, how amazing! Why? Because we are removed from the minute actions over extended time that made it reality. Regardless of positive or negative aspects, situations and results that suddenly appear are created by minute movements in a particular direction over time.

Like bear and bull markets, fortunes won and lost as well as overnight success and downfall... suddenly is just a perception!

It seems that so many people who are feeling frustrated with not making progress on their dreams of bettering themselves, talk to me of their frustrations with themselves... the ought to have done, the want to do and the wish to do. They look at others who have "made it" and it looks so easy from a distance!

Intellectually they want to take up something or give up something to make dreams reality, but the will does not always support the skill!

Here is the thing... you may have heard (me say) that to trigger internal change you need a reason big enough or consequence dire enough but that is not sufficient to action change, that is merely the trigger.

Let's assume you are brilliant and you have the answers, since you do! Think about a situation where you have successfully effected change for yourself... what was it that effected the change? How can you take a higher perspective to extract the approach? How can you use that information to help you now?

Let's now assume that, armed with that knowledge, you can do with some extra insights to flip your knowledge into wisdom.

The usual pattern for non-change is decide, try, regress, try, regress, feel guilt, feel angst, forget progress made, indulge in the unwanted behaviour etc, etc "Oh my goodness it is too hard, I can't do it, I'll never do it"

Best think about the building. Firstly remember that there is always a price to pay. What are you prepared to pay to get the result? It may be time, different daily choices or actual money! Whatever it is, recognise and begin the instalments.

Secondly, driving yourself to change is macro and it happens with micro steps. Every single micro measured step in the right direction gets you to your objective. Measure your success by these micro steps... in the right direction.

Use your visual trickery to mask the gradual progress, you have a secret! It looks as if nothing is happening and others will continue to see you as you are. Often you may feel unsupported by others, but they can't feel what you feel and they may seem to thwart your efforts.

You though, know better and... when you have taken sufficient easy, micro steps, and as you begin to feel the result of easy consistent effort effect the change, they will see it... sudden change! Then they will celebrate with you and adopt you as their hero.

One of my favourite quotes is an excerpt from writing by Goethe "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it" Go on! Have a go!

Until next month get a clear perception of what you want and suddenly begin the micro to macro way to change!

Noelene Dawes

Lured by desire deterred by duty

I wonder if you have ever taken the lead to drive an idea to reality and found that the enthusiasm and action you require from others is waning?

Here is the leadership opportunity that is embedded in every activity. First you begin by leading yourself and, if there are others involved, you must lead them... but only if you want them to help you achieve what you want!

Whether you have a corporate agenda or are driving a community or family idea, the rules of the game are the same.

Your potential win may mean everyone wins, but if it is you driving the idea, then others first must see the potential win for themselves if they are to enter the game and... stay in it.

Of course, you know all this, it may seem like textbook management. However, my stance is that you manage processes and you lead people. It is knowing how to lead and get the result you want that is key. Leading is not a one-off interaction with others blindly following, it requires constant monitoring.

People do not mean for their enthusiasm to wane, they may not even understand it themselves. If you have ever been excited about promoting an idea, then find at the time of picking up the phone to connect your enthusiasm wanes, then you know what I mean. Acting on an idea often looks easier from a distance, the closeness of action is another thing.

People may appear to be complex chameleons, slippery creatures who don't always stick to what they say they want to do and actually do it. Their enthusiasm wanes based on a variety of factors, especially their emotional resilience, which has a tremendous impact on motivation.

If you consider how complex you are, you will appreciate that others are as well! They are driven from deep within and so oftentimes, immediate reaction is a shallow representation of many filters of experience, and often because of how they feel!

So it is from an unconscious level that motivation and enthusiasm is sourced. It seems appropriate then, that you best look deeper than a person's behaviour to find out what they want... enter desire versus duty.

Imagine for a moment you know you must do something out of duty that you are not really happy to do. How engaged are you? How rapidly do you respond? If you respond rapidly, is that because you want to get it over and done with, you endure it and smile through the process?

Conversely, imagine you really desire to do something and cannot wait to get started. How engaged are you? How rapidly do you get started? Do you even need to think about doing it?

Please know that I am not for one moment suggesting that is is a clear choice between desire and duty, nor am I suggesting that the issue is not complex.

What I am suggesting is that if you have a clear feeling of struggle from imagining the duty scenario and a clear feeling of ease from the desire scenario, then how can you expect others to join the flow of your enthusiasm if you are not clear what enthuses them and what they perceive as desire and duty?

Duty is easy if the duty leads to a desirable outcome, it is a struggle if it is linked to dread, boredom or have to do!

Imagine having others as focused and enthusiastic as you, motivated for their own end? Everyone wins!

You know this, though you may sometimes forget and I am here to remind you by being a catalyst for your brilliance.

These monthly grabs are created to be useful, to get you questioning how you are being your best and to give you an insight into my approach to getting new perspectives.

Until next month do your duty from desire and create a flow of enthusiasm!

Noelene Dawes

From Expectation to Exceptional Experience

Utilising Emotional Resilience in Business

If you were to create a movie that exudes the effectiveness you have achieved and the satisfaction you feel about your life in business to date, would the viewers be encountering a story more akin to gliding in a gondola or riding a roller coaster?

It matters little which one you prefer, but it does matter if you expect one and get the other!

A preferred experience is a classic story with expectations met, obstacles navigated and a satisfied happy ending.

If you are demanding the gondolier speed up and lose the other vessels in his wash, or complain the roller coaster is making you sick, then best you look at your expectations and how you are preparing yourself for the ride, especially if this happens over and over again!

Imagine if you could produce and direct your business life movie to be classic story variety as the rule rather than the exception? What would that do for you now in your current role? How would that make a difference to your future effectiveness and satisfaction as well as the fond memories you have of the finished movie?

A favourite movie is one that re-runs as a memory for a variety of occasions. Your movie memory can be a rich reminder in a time of reflection, an uplifting reward in times of trouble and a powerful sample of a tried and true account worthy of replicating for your next production.

To be a favourite it should be professionally produced and well-directed and not necessarily a high budget production. It just takes focus, awareness and flexibility; add commitment and you have a box-office hit!

Deciphering the plot of your best and worst experiences is a good way to start. By re-running each as a movie in your mind you will get the real experience of how your expectations were met, or not, complete with emotions good and bad!

If you are the adventurous type then you will enjoy the exhilaration, if you are a peace seeker then you will appreciate the solace. No matter the specific situation and resultant emotion it is whether you are feeling emotionally resilient throughout that tells the real story, the story that relates you being satisfied with the ending.

Being emotionally resilient is about feeling strength in your core, a strength that comes from a calm place deep within. Having this strength you are most likely to set realistic expectations and be least rattled when things go awry. You know that whatever the situation you have a calm resolve that keeps you clear, alert and flexible as you remain in control.

The movie of your worst experience shows you reacting to the pressures that arise as your not so best self, causing you to expand the risks and as a result, perhaps even multiply the negative consequences. This movie is gripping, the stuff terrifying action movies are made of! Fear and fright, much of which is caused by the experience not meeting expectations!

The best experience movie shows you at your best, able to be the one who is in control and helps to nullify the risks and lead yourself and others through to a satisfying conclusion. Perhaps the story may have dilemmas and dire circumstance, but you move through like a modern day hero or heroine.

It is useful to ask your self, what are the differing circumstances in the design of the two plots? In other words, what circumstances help you to be at your best, your most emotionally resilient self and what drives you off course?

To be a specialist in producing and directing your own classic movie focus on the following 3 elements:

First, have a clear outcome. If you are not clear what you want to achieve through your experience, and what is important to you, then you find it difficult to make decisions in the moment when your movie is being made.

Second, be aware of the environment that you are going into, the possible risks and how to ensure your planning and preparation averts these.

Third, be flexible when you are in the midst of your movie. I am sure you can appreciate that having the first two elements covered makes being flexible so much easier. You are well informed and emotionally prepared for any misadventure or indeed positive opportunity that may arise.

Things can and will go wrong, which gives the plot it's excitement and helps test your effectiveness. A key element is in managing your level of expectation! To be very dissatisfied you must first have a high level of unrealistic expectations.

When you are emotionally resilient you will handle the rigours of business life with ease. In addition to planning and forethought, do as much as you can to care for your brain and body through rest, nutrition, meditation, exercise or whatever helps you feel your best and live your best business life, moving your expectation to exceptional experience!

Noelene Interviewed about Emotional Resilience

This is a 24 minute live interview on Emotional Resilience. Noelene is being interviewed by James Adonis for his Team Leaders Management Development Program on 31 July 2009.
http://www.teamleaders.com.au/

Superman Wonder Woman and Other Hero Personas

From mild mannered mortals to legendary idealists with a call to action and the donning of a costume!

Consider these legendary super heroes and their appeal... What is the attraction?

Perhaps it is the rush of the sudden might and skill to save the day, the attractive figure they cut in their unique hero attire that exemplifies winning, or that you can count on them to be stand up for good over evil when all else is lost!

I wonder if these fantasy figures or alternatively, your favourite hero if you cannot associate with these, has a spark of cool that inspires you to motivation, causes you to associate with them, or wish you could naturally emulate them?

One thing is for sure, as you watch an episode part of you may want their true identity revealed as mild mannered ordinary folk, while the other part never wants it revealed lest the fantasy be ruined.

These two fantasy characters have much in common with many legendary super heroes including their total self-belief and self-confidence, the finesse and ease with which they act out their wisdom and that they consistently achieve a winning outcome.

If you could don the costume or more specifically, the persona, of your favourite super hero, how would that help you in the world of business?

Perhaps you think this is a flight of fancy? Perhaps, but come with me anyway...
In the business context, if I asked you to put on a persona for each of the following, how would you act them out, what immediate behaviours stereotypical of each springs to mind for?...

Bank Teller, Salesperson, Administrator, CEO, IT test analyst, CFO, Marketing Manager and HR Manager.

Now think about each persona and how it may change if this person was to step up when the pressure is on and positively save the day. What do you notice?

What is real is that the persona under normal circumstances does not completely alter when they step up to save the day, but rather it is magnified.

Sometimes they may look different because of the extreme shift. It is almost like they have put on a costume! However, if they are to be real and bring through their super hero persona the thread of that behaviour must be stored away in ready reserve, much like the costume of our super heroes.

Have you ever donned a costume for a party, perhaps somewhat reluctantly at first, and found that you begin to not only take on the persona but really enjoy it? I wonder if you search your memory do you find some extremes of persona came out to play?

You influence every minute with the persona you naturally convey. If you want to positively influence your persona must come from positivity.

If you want to lead and/or sell with confidence and belief then first you must find belief and confidence within you. If not for you personally then for the cause you are stepping forward to defend.

If you can't easily access the necessary attributes of the persona, imagine you are your own super hero and are called upon to save the day. Remember, you don't need to change, you simply need to bring out the best of yourself.

To access this you need either a reason big enough or consequences dire enough. Where are you now on that scale? If you are not motivated to action for yourself, ask yourself, What are my colleagues or clients missing out on when I am not stepping up?

Your world needs you, it is your destiny calling! Be your own super hero! Otherwise your world could be left with a Mickey or Minnie Mouse solution, which may be a laugh, but is unlikely to save the day.

Until next month, don your cape and fly!

Noelene Dawes

Still or Sparkling a Fine Choice!

A matter of taste, timing or temperament?

No matter your beverage of choice alcoholic or otherwise, your selection may differ based on a pattern of steady choice, the time and type of occasion or your mood.

It is like that with personality, the style you demonstrate and the style you appreciate in others.

Does your natural style tend toward still or sparkling, that is introverted or extroverted?

How does that change with pressure and circumstance?

How does that affect your ability to positively influence?

Do you judge others according to their still or sparkling preference?

It is only when you become aware of how your choice of style affects your ability to influence the outcome for any situation or event that you can be more wise with your selection.

I wonder if you have noticed that your preference for still or sparkling company may depend on the events of the day, which potentially affects your level of emotional resilience and hence your taste, timing and temperament!

As you evolve you begin to learn about how you are wired for stillness or sparkle and how that affects your ability to lead and influence people and situations. You also learn that your style is not absolute, you can and often may be flexible in your style whilst maintaining your authenticity and being true to your values, what is important to you.

Leaders know that they need to make a space for others to demonstrate their skills and talents regardless of his or her bent towards still or sparkling, which affects how each communicates the output of those skills and talents.

In fact, it may be useful for you to notice how you automatically change in the company of others, since that informs you as to your level of flexibility and how you can adjust if you consider it useful to do so.

The wonderful thing for me as a student of unlocking the potential of people, I routinely notice personality and behaviour. I remember a specific 3-way conversation some years ago where I became acutely aware and appreciative of my own flexibility.

Those of you who know me well will choose sparkling for me and still for my husband Ian. In this conversation Ian was in active sparkle, our friend a close second sparkle and me very still allowing and enjoying the sparkle in the space surrounding me. Who would have thought it possible?

The capacity to be flexible is valuable and coupled with responsibility for helping those we lead develop, it helps induce wisdom. However, that flexibility can only be developed once we are aware of how we can flex, a matter of taste, timing and temperament.

Humans are always judging, we judge ourselves and each other, it is how we are wired. Judging, in this context, is nether bad not good it just is. It helps us to continually calibrate elements that affect our surroundings and our response to them. As a result we pick up clues about how our choices for still or sparkling affect our own results as well as others and their results.

Influential leaders know how emotional resilience affects their ability to flex. This helps them to be strong and calm as they are authentically still and sparkling as the situation demands. This flexibility is true for many filters of personality within us all, building these builds leadership.

Until next month celebrate with still or sparkling, it is a fine choice!

Noelene Dawes

From Consternation to Curiosity

So things are flowing along well with the occasional hiccup that is mostly easily overcome, when it seems quite suddenly, everything changes.

Equilibrium is upset, hiccups become more like constant reflux and the heartburn sets in.

Things may be sorted out if it wasn’t for some offensive person (or indeed people) behaving like a complete idiot and making you feel sick to your stomach!

You ask yourself, how can they behave so badly? How can they not see the truth of the matter? How are they so missing the point? How can they not consider others in this situation? How can they be so aggressive? Or alternatively, how can they be so apathetic?

So I wonder how is your pressure level in this and how are you behaving?

Perhaps you are the one feeling the pressure and the resultant heartburn, everyone around you unaware and not able to detect the symptoms, let alone assist?

People feel pressure from different stimuli, the way they feel pressure is unique and the resultant behaviour is often hard to swallow, seemingly impossible to diagnose the cause let alone prescribe a remedy. When you are the one suffering the pressure it may be even more difficult to find a remedy.

It is also worth considering that pressure is felt in both negative and positive change, because… well it is change and it is natural. The problem is that change upsets the balance, true butterflies in the stomach or feelings of listlessness and dread.

My treatment program provides a cure for the acute condition and an ongoing pain management program.

My prescription is to become curious!

If you now bring to mind a situation about which you may have feelings of consternation or dismay ask yourself:

• What are the external forces at play?
• How is each of these elements affecting the situation?
• How is that likely to be impacting the person concerned, their motivators, those close to them?
• Who or what else is playing a part?

Any question that informs you will assist you in becoming rational about a situation and in doing so will help you tap into your innate skills to deal with the situation. You are then more likely to come from a place of wisdom rather than needing to be right!

Ask yourself the following questions to determine whether your … is painful enough to warrant treatment. If so please use my prescription to “Be Curious”… no charge!

• What is it that causes you to feel utterly dismayed?
• What effect does it have on your ability to respond rationally?
• What effect does your state of consternation and utter dismay have on your productivity?
• What about your ability to relate to the person or people involved?
• What is the cost to you and your business?

Enjoy being curious!

Noelene Dawes

All Power To You… at the Flick of a Switch

3 Techniques for turning on and tuning your electrics

How powerful do you feel right now? Are you feeling influential and in control? What does that feeling you have right now allow you to do, or not do?

What would it be like to be able to flick a switch to turn on your personal power grid when you need it most?

You already do this of course, but sometimes the line might have static, the connection interrupted by an unexpected wave of emotion or even worse experiences an uncontrollable surge.

If you could benefit from maintenance on your internal electrics or know some other person who could do with some help, pay close attention and I will tell you what you already know.

Why would you want to find out something you already know? Well perhaps you don’t know the access code or have forgotten it!

Let’s consider best you and not at your best you. Best you when all your circuitry is clear and you have a sense of certainty and clarity. You may have noticed that best you can easily access full power, no fog in front of you, no extra weight to carry on your shoulders, and no annoying noise to distract you.

No matter what the conditions you respond with positive power and lead others through calm or storm.

Technique 1 - Ask yourself now… What are the conditions that set up this personal state or mood? You have felt this before… find the patterns that work for you.

What about not at your best you when intellectually you think you will respond well, but your intellectual ideal and reality fail to meet? When your response to challenge or change gets a different result than you expected and you know you were responsible, however small your part?

These are your negative patterns at work, those that don’t serve you. Relax, we all have them, this is a part of what makes us unique… just like everybody else!

You know about these patterns, want to change them, but despite how hard you try to adjust, they recur.

Trying is your conscious mind trying to control your unconscious mind at a conscious level. I wonder if you realise how futile this is?

The conscious mind can hold 7 plus or minus 2 pieces of information at any one time. This is like a few circuits perched atop a major power grid trying to drive it!

In order to change any behaviour patterns you need to affect the change at a deep level. The greater the change you want the deeper into your wiring you must begin the repair.

Technique 2 – Ask yourself now… Do I have a reason big enough or a consequence dire enough to want to change at a deep level?

Ah! But right now is the quick fix switch the one you most want?
This one will give you a quick spark to begin to engage you in repairing the others.

Technique 3 – Ask yourself now… How can I think more expansively right now? Get up and look out the window, get a larger picture in front of you. Do this now so you remember how effective it is when next you get a wave of emotion come over you, static in your circuits or an uncontrollable surge.

This technique works because it moves your mind to a different perspective. In effect you are leading yourself out of a blockage and into clear circuitry. Only then can you lead others in the same direction.

Until next time, be electric, emotionally resilient and go with positive charge!

Noelene Dawes

Maintaining Personal Power in a Changing World

Excerpts from a speech to the Sydney Chapter of the Project Management
Institute (PMI) by Noelene in March 2009.

Be the Corporate Horse Whisperer

Corral the conflict of the power stallions

Imagine yourself as a horse whisperer specialising in dealing with corporate stallion behaviour, you know the type…. males and/or females who exert that stallion-like behaviour, protecting their paddock, driving newcomers off, snorting at new ideas and rearing up, driving fear and dread into the hearts of those who dare enter their patch and take some of their herd… their power!

From Mandarin to Mouldy Mass… and other changes

The mild odour seemed to come and go. The windows were opened wider, though the waft of fresh air was somewhat stifled by the intricacies of the layout, which was poorly positioned for flow through.

Annoyance, frustration and curiosity wafted in and out as did the odour. Mild became mid-range then strong. Frustration came and went until finally the odour moved up a final notch to outright stench causing a thorough search by unwillingly willing nostrils to uncover the offending object.

As the bag was opened the dusty mould filtered through the air. The steps back with much aghast did little to reveal what the mouldy mass once was.

Level headed clean up completed I tracked back in my memory to the last time I used the old bag. “Deary me! It is that mandarin I used as that seriously meaningful metaphor so many speeches ago. It has taken on a whole new meaning now! What am I, a child who has left fruit in her school bag?”

My first instinct was to throw out the bag. It was expensive to purchase a new one, though smelly it was once a sense of pride and still useful. I painstakingly cleaned and refreshed it, all the while moving between mild self-loathing, disbelief that I had caused myself this angst and mild amusement. Eventually I accepted that I am both grown and yet have some way to go and eventually had a good laugh.

When people grow they are known as adults. Adults are expected to do adult things. They expect to be in control and others expect it of them. So we all put on our adult masks. Being an adult is serious business, but it is when you take yourself too seriously that you trip up and the mask falls off. How embarrassing!

Of course, this is nature’s way of creating change. We often refuse to deal with things until they either explode or rot in a bag somewhere, hidden from view but not from other senses.

Like it or not things change. Growth only happens through change. You can resist it, perhaps throw the bag out and kid yourself that you are now rid of that problem.

Experience tells me though, that most people make the same errors over and over. It is only when you have said enough is enough in acknowledgement that the matter needs attention that you can work through the issue. Once worked through to a resolution it very often magically ceases to matter any more and you can move to the next level of growth.

No growth happens without some suffering, it is the natural way, and it is our resistance to deal with it that causes the angst.

There are mandarins in bags everywhere, best check your bags and attend to the things that will matter if you don’t give them attention.

Whether it be (dare I mention it!) the global economic crisis, an ongoing business issue or a family conflict, summon your best self, decide on the ultimate outcome you desire and work with those concerned to deal with it.

When you need help with this please contact me. It is best you have someone to help that understands the territory. I am still finding the occasional mandarin… metaphorically speaking of course!

Until next time, be brave, emotionally resilient and go with change!

Noelene Dawes

Noelene's new photo by Jon Dawes.
To see Jon's Photographic Portfolio click here

Turn fantasy into fact by being seriously creative

Take the “ho hum” out of goal setting and replace it with maximum motivation by learning from the Father of fantasy, a master of financial success.