Teetering on the edge of a precipice or stepping up to lead the way

Helloooo… Is anyone there… and willing to join me? I stand 152 cm and yet the view I have seems to me to be staggeringly clearer and brighter than that of the tired taller travellers in the mainstream, who are feeling bent over at the waist staring down the chasm of doom and gloom. Bad things always have and always will happen. Popular media tell me the world is an unsafe place and there are many daily news items giving weight to that position. We can’t all respond to events worlds away, but rather than feel defeated we can respond to lead in whatever context we can in our own piece of the world. I am told too often by too many that the economy here in Australia is not good - it is bad, we are never going back to the good times, and there’s nothing we can do since the world is in crisis. Politicians fight and bully each other with personal attacks, shock jocks make money as they talk up the financial downside, and many otherwise optimistic people I know are saying pessimistic things like ‘you can’t trust anyone’, ‘things are worse than I’ve ever known’ and, ‘someone should do something!’ So I want to know: Who specifically should do something? Where are all the hopeful people? If someone needs to do something then shouldn’t that someone be you and me? The tendency to pessimism and a sense of powerlessness is creeping into the business mindset too, so where does that leave leadership? Business owners and high level executives all need to work on their emotional state to overcome the negatives. In the midst of a real crisis leaders tend to step up, put their case and act, then typically others follow. But in chronic doom and gloom we might easily slip into, and get weighed down by, the overall mood; the more we do the worse we feel and it is hard to avoid being drawn into the monotone hum. Every person can lead the way by playing their own unique part in tough times; we are influencing every moment of every day. At work, at home and with friends, we influence each other, and whenever we let others join the monotone chorus of doom and gloom we fail them. As soon as we slide into hopelessness and helplessness we have nowhere else left to go...better we look at our situation as it is and reset our expectations. Of course it is futile to see any situation as overly rosy with all things positive. What we do need is a realisation that our inner strengths are ever present, and we have the power to chart a course and work to overcome the obstacles, no matter how small or tall we might be. If the doomsayers are getting to you it probably happened so slowly you didn’t sense it overtaking your precious optimism. It’s a bit like the slow boiling frog. Everyone is a bit depressed and down, wearing the ‘busy’ tag as a fashionable badge of honour, and now accessorised with ‘things are bad’ mask. Why is nobody prepared to say that things are, or can be, good? This is not to say that you might not have dire issues and problems that need to be addressed. However, without hope it can feel like too much struggle, tough to find the motivation to find answers, or to ask for help. It is important to recognise if you are feeling stymied and stuck, and then find a way to get onto higher ground, and to find an overview. It’s important that we talk about meaningful change, and think in solutions. Lots of people are feeling the weight; we need to be leaders, to stand up and say that we can overcome problems in tough times. When emotions rule over reason emotional resilience slips and we can rapidly move from teetering on the precipice and fall into the chasm of helplessness and hopelessness. With emotional resilience we have a real edge to ensure we deal with the issues in life with hope and realism. I may appear as small but I stand tall and ready to build a community of hopeful and helpful people as leaders. Together we can be a tower of strength and lead others away from the precipice. Are you with me? Until next time, enjoy your emotional edge! Cheers, Noelene

Noelene Dawes & Amanda Stevens 'Your Emotional Edge'

Noelene is interviewed about her new book 'Your Emotional Edge' by Amanda Stevens.
'Your Emotional Edge' is The Emotional Resilience Guidebook for women who dare to fly high and achieve it all in leadership and life.


http://www.emotionalresilience.com.au/

Peter Miller talks about "Your Emotional Edge"

Peter Miller provides some background to Noelene's new book, "Your
Emotional Edge".

Mining Magic in Paradise

In the early evening a solitary Noisy Miner bird enjoyed the nectar willingly served up by the brilliant new bloom. This marvellous bird of paradise flower is the focal point at the end of my garden. The bird, a resolute creature, came each day, working with diligence and persistence to extract every essence from that single flower and enjoy the fruits of his labour.

I appreciate my garden and smiled as I wandered by this wonderful display of nature at work. My own enjoyment was short lived however, as I later noticed that in his somewhat over zealous activity he had pecked the centre right out of the flower... there it lay wilting on the ground!

It had bloomed brightly and early bursting with youthful pride and served as an exciting vibrancy of colour against the grey February skies of that last few days. Oh well, I mused, c'est la vie, just the cycle of life.

Imagine my surprise when two days later I noticed that the centre of the same flower had re-grown, a new and proud burst of life! Sure enough the bird returned and within a day the centre fell yet again. I was amazed at this and even more-so when it again was decimated re-grew a third time!

Well now things were getting interesting, I wondered what would happen next? I know something about the resilience of people but I had never been so focused on the resilience of a single flower. Amazing stuff happening right under my nose, which up until now I had overlooked!

A fleeting glance to the end of my garden two days on, rapidly became entranced focus. It seemed to me that there was more colour than is possible from this one stem. On closer inspection the most amazingly beautiful transformation had taken place. The single stem stood strong and the marvellous plant had brought forth two complete blooms from that one stem!

A double bird of paradise flower is not some new phenomenon unique to my garden. However, it may as well have been, given it had escaped my notice. For me it was a new and exciting discovery. I have never witnessed anything first hand that quite so obviously exudes the wonders of nature! A true and natural example of resilience, natural magic easily overlooked on an average day.

It seems to me that both bird and plant played the game. What initially appeared to be disaster for one ultimately provided a win for both. Each persisted with their natural instincts to grow, to endure, to be resilient and to find mutual benefit in the process.

There is no natural growth without sacrifice, no bloom without first weathering the seasons and the natural external elements. However, growth is dependent on the health of the specimen, the natural ability to grow with and from experience, and the resilience to keep blooming after storms and strife.

It is on the greyest of days that my double orange flower in its pot at the end of my garden fully displays its colour. In the overcast hue the orange, in direct contrast to the background, is more obvious, more intense, more easily noticed and appreciated. Whereas on other brighter days it may be lost amongst the blue of the sky and the myriad of garden colours competing for an appreciative eye.

Like life itself, when days are grey we have an opportunity to either overlook or to notice the beauty in things and people that otherwise elude us.

On grey days, lift your head a little and appreciate what you see anew. As if by magic your emotional resilience will rise within you and your ability to reason and respond will come to the fore.

Grey days then become an opportunity to mine the magic that may be in range of sight yet not apparent to our mindset. Uncovering these gems allows us to fully display our own full colours, magically influencing others and leading them into a brighter day.

Until next time, keep blooming!

Noelene Dawes

A Scintillating Sense of Spice

"Miss Nolan, you seem so like Indonesian people, maybe you should stay here permanently". My dear friend and business colleague Bapak Dharmapoli made this remark on one of our trips to provincial Indonesia, this time to Medan in Sumatra.

It's funny how some comments stay with you, how they tend to cause you to reflect on the greater inference. How was it that I seemed to my Indonesian friends to be like them... and, what did that say about how I had changed?

My role was Technical Advisor to Asuransi Jasa Indonesia, a state owned enterprise with branches as entrenched throughout the archipelago as jack fruit and palm trees are on the vast 17,000 plus islands. I was representing my Australian company, the only expatriate, my mission to gather market intelligence and seek potential joint venture partners. Given my success in sales, with people and relating, my CEO said I was the one for the job.

You learn a lot about communicating over four years in a challenging environment, make a lot of friends in the process and understand well what you don't understand about communicating and don't need to.

My first week was one of awkward adventure...

The cloud of clove cigarettes wafted through the dining room, and, combined with the sweet smells of spice and unrecognisable dishes, told me I was definitely in foreign territory. The President Director ushered me in and offered me a seat.

I had met each of the senior executives beforehand and made a dull attempt to pronounce their names and attune my foreign ear to their unique accents. A soft yet proper friendliness permeated the room and made me feel very welcome. This environment allowed an awkward yet fascinated and dedicated learning to begin. Subsequently this allowed for my slow yet real progress over the next few months and years where I gained and gave trust and information for mutual benefit and understanding.

How did I seem to become like my friends? Because I was fascinated and could take nothing for granted. I continued to focus on each person, continued to gently ask questions, to listen with more finely attuned ears, to see with new eyes, to appreciate the scintillating sense of spice in the variety of personalities as well as culture.

In doing so I had not changed at all, but found a new way to release more of my real self, showing my respect and love for people and personality. I came to know that learning about people is a constant and open art. Business results follow as a natural consequence.

This is a part of my drive, for assisting you to connect with clarity, to be curious, fascinated, and not take anyone or anything for granted in your communicating, lest you diminish your influence.

Whether it is your closest family member or a corporate colleague, as soon as you make automatic judgements when communicating with others you muddy the mix of messages and compound the potential for conflict and mistrust.

Communication is a noun, communicate is a verb... one of the continuous kind! By that I mean there can be no end to the art of communicating since it is open to interpretation.

It is less than ninety years since people throughout the Indonesian archipelago have been speaking one language, Bahasa Indonesia. Three hundred and seventy five different dialects are spoken and cultures within the culture itself are diverse. As they grow together as a nation I have witnessed first hand the way in which they show real respect to and appreciation for each other's differences in the nuances of doing business.

So imagine if you took a foreigner's perspective, stopped assuming you know absolutely what another person is thinking, that you are right about his/her intentions and motivations? What might you learn about how well you communicate? and... What difference could that potentially make to your business and your life?

I challenge you to become fascinated with, curious about and scintillated by the people you assume you know. They will feel more important and your authentic influence will begin to permeate with a new and scintillating sense of spice!

Enjoy the experience!

Noelene Dawes

A Scintillating Sense of Spice

You learn a lot about communicating over four years in a challenging environment, make a lot of friends in the process and understand well what you don't understand about communicating...

Suddenly is Just a Perception

A city building seems to appear overnight! Despite the daily disruptions to traffic and pedestrians, the noise and the occasional waft of dust, most of the toil is hidden. Barricades appear early, supporting health and safety and containing the collating of the nuts, bolts and concrete of construction.

The barricades mask the goings on with visual trickery. Appealing mural images appear that mimic nature, perhaps an ocean theme, rain forest or open desert plains.

We know intellectually that meticulous work goes on, but we have no real sense of it.

Long before the site is prepared, ideas spark and money lights the flame, lest there is no manifesting the idea. Land is cleared, and the creative work begins. Plans are drawn and submitted, approvals sort and checked.

Back at the site... over time the foundations are laid, tiers are constructed, utilities are connected, the face begins to take shape while the fixtures and fittings add polish and pizzaz.

We know construction is taking place and we participate as onlookers, at a distance, no hands in the dirt for us. Still it seems one day, almost overnight, this building appears as the barricades come down and the spectacle reveals itself!

Suddenly! to the eye it appears, how amazing! Why? Because we are removed from the minute actions over extended time that made it reality. Regardless of positive or negative aspects, situations and results that suddenly appear are created by minute movements in a particular direction over time.

Like bear and bull markets, fortunes won and lost as well as overnight success and downfall... suddenly is just a perception!

It seems that so many people who are feeling frustrated with not making progress on their dreams of bettering themselves, talk to me of their frustrations with themselves... the ought to have done, the want to do and the wish to do. They look at others who have "made it" and it looks so easy from a distance!

Intellectually they want to take up something or give up something to make dreams reality, but the will does not always support the skill!

Here is the thing... you may have heard (me say) that to trigger internal change you need a reason big enough or consequence dire enough but that is not sufficient to action change, that is merely the trigger.

Let's assume you are brilliant and you have the answers, since you do! Think about a situation where you have successfully effected change for yourself... what was it that effected the change? How can you take a higher perspective to extract the approach? How can you use that information to help you now?

Let's now assume that, armed with that knowledge, you can do with some extra insights to flip your knowledge into wisdom.

The usual pattern for non-change is decide, try, regress, try, regress, feel guilt, feel angst, forget progress made, indulge in the unwanted behaviour etc, etc "Oh my goodness it is too hard, I can't do it, I'll never do it"

Best think about the building. Firstly remember that there is always a price to pay. What are you prepared to pay to get the result? It may be time, different daily choices or actual money! Whatever it is, recognise and begin the instalments.

Secondly, driving yourself to change is macro and it happens with micro steps. Every single micro measured step in the right direction gets you to your objective. Measure your success by these micro steps... in the right direction.

Use your visual trickery to mask the gradual progress, you have a secret! It looks as if nothing is happening and others will continue to see you as you are. Often you may feel unsupported by others, but they can't feel what you feel and they may seem to thwart your efforts.

You though, know better and... when you have taken sufficient easy, micro steps, and as you begin to feel the result of easy consistent effort effect the change, they will see it... sudden change! Then they will celebrate with you and adopt you as their hero.

One of my favourite quotes is an excerpt from writing by Goethe "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it" Go on! Have a go!

Until next month get a clear perception of what you want and suddenly begin the micro to macro way to change!

Noelene Dawes